Sunday, September 11, 2011

Looking back

Our first few weeks of 4th grade have been an enlightenment phase. G-pie has rediscovered self reliant time management (ie, managing boredom) while Sugar Daddy and I have researched and pursued business endeavors hoping to provide a life for our children, the snack pack has wrestled with their huge emotions, their tiny bodies and their jealous need for mama.

My sweet family.
The goal this summer was to orient ourselves and become fully engaged in life, lay a stable family foundation for our childrens' (and our own) journeys of self discovery through community based education, and our socially productive pursuit of happiness. Albeit a migratory one in our case... this was move number 11 for us as a couple.

But this month Sugar Daddy has been doubling his efforts to find a job- the license/ lapse of consciousness issue still looms and with nothing good to report. But we cannot wait for the Department of Morons and Villains to make their assessment (especially since our medical "professional" will not fill out the stinking form!)... so he won't be looking at any outside sales jobs- but I diverge, and my blood pressure rises and I start to breath erratically....

The day I started this post was an archetypal lazy summer day- it was HOT. I stayed in my pajamas all day. J-cakes in her bathing suit, G-pie sequestered in her room, hibernating in the cool darkness of the shadiest room of the house. C-dough was on change number 5- and had just unplugged my power source calling to mind the reminder to schedule myself an eye appointment as the screen dimmed...

And here we are 4 days later on this somber Sunday. Thursday, we enjoyed perfect weather, dinner guests and vision building, Friday we met and played with our friends at the cool, shady park, Saturday we were awoken by a thunder storm, cleaned house and went out a date (I kid you not!), and here I am (Air Hockey Champion, thank you very much!)  as I return to the pleasantries of capturing my own musings for the amusement of some.

We have been through a lot in the past 10 years since "the world went crazy"- that surreal day, I was pregnant with G-pie, planning for our future. I was filled with fantasy about family life and prepared to be a perfect parent. So much has happened in the world and in our life during this roller coaster decade.

It was hard to imagine bringing a child into a world filled with the horror I felt when terror struck- we sure didn't know what the reality of our future would be, but I am thankful that we had one- and I am sad as I think of all the lives lost, the children orphaned and parents who must mourn their progeny. Life is precious, it is never what we expect, it is miraculous and stunning and absurd and sometimes it just is- indefinable, without label and I find myself totally without understanding, so I breath in and out and it goes on.

Throughout I have been Learning Barefoot, alongside my children, about myself, about relationships- about how humans learn, how they fail, how they connect. About how I function in intentional tribes of mamas bound together by a desire to do some things a little differently. The "rules" are different, the technology is AWESOME, food is medicine (we are over medicated!) and media is EVERYWHERE.

Information age enlightenment, evolved social structures and tolerant living styles have been our environment, and we have indulgently explored family style learning (aka homeschooling). We have made so many friends, so many connections to other humans.

Humans are pretty spectacular specimens when you study them closely- and that is the subject matter for us moms- humanology. What makes a human, what should we feed it, teach or share with it, how should it sleep, how should it spend it's time, what makes it feel loved, accepted and supported? How does a human become an adult human and what will it need to adapt along that evolution?

Something big is about to happen- we have incredible opportunities, intriguing options, and inspiring offspring! My mind has been swimming with the things that I have learned about attentive, peaceful parenting- anecdotes and advice from our first 5 years of alternative education. Fun, creative ideas that I hope will inspire and inform many a new mama as they fantasize about the moments they will spend with their adorable, aware and always amazing adolescents. Courage building basics that will edify empowered parents as they enter the early years. It will all be in my book, and it is on it's way.

Memorials of tragedy and loss fill the airwaves today, and we humans reach out to share our stories of that day because we care about each other and we want to feel connected. We explained a little more to G-pie today, it helped me put things in perspective as we used terms an almost 10 year old could understand.

Raising humans is the coolest thing to do on this planet- except maybe making them. =)

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