I hunger for focus. I have always been filled with ideas, inspiration, start-ups, springboards- I am a beginner. I love the fresh sparks of something I have imagined can be. It thrills me to plan, propose my intent, fill pages with lists and snippets about the fabulous and original concept I have created.
Then the real work begins.
Something stalls me. Real life gets in the way and I find myself losing a grip on my purpose. It slips through my fingers like sands in the hourglass.
It's like being hungry and imagining a gourmet meal and what it will be like when I eat- the table setting, the mood lighting, the company I will have, the music that will play. I write the menu and the grocery list, I compare recipes, I tell all my friends and family about it. Then I start to have analysis paralysis as I try to choose a cuisine. I hop around, trying to adjust the setting, the lighting, and guest list- and I wear myself out.
Then on the way to the store, I am so hungry I swing through the drive-thru and pick up a cheeseburger with fries- because I simply must eat! All my visions fade as the kids clamor for their "happy" meals and I lose the momentum, the dinner party is delayed- sometimes repeatedly and finally it is lost amidst the adventures of living barefoot.
I hunger for focus- a single, sensational, clarifying, clear headed path to follow on my journey.
[prompted by http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/]