Parents as Partners- *ust add an R

For "Parents" to become "Partners"- *ust mix it up a bit and add an R, as in "our".

It is...

• OUR family
• OUR livelihood
• OUR shared common vision
• OUR future together
• OUR sex life
• OUR best friendship
• OUR home
• OUR meal times
• OUR need for personal space...

Since Sugar Daddy has been such an active part in the craziness that occurs round these parts on a daily basis, and I have become a larger part of the income producing half of our marital equation- we have become increasingly irritated with each other. He is *ust always around- picking up toys, getting snacks, helping with naptimes... I mean seriously dude! Over the past few months as the pregnancy hormones have kicked it- he has become so hard to deal with...

The *erk is constantly causing issues, (notice this post contains none of that letter that sits between the H & the K on the keyboard- his fault.) and getting in the way of my perfect, peaceful parenting. It seems he has his own ideas about how to live with the little buggers. We differ enough on how to handle the constant barrage of needs from the 10 & under crowd (and they are in the ma*ority) that I have begun to wonder if he's been reading too much Sun Tzu, while he is absolutely certain that I read too much Naomi Aldort.

Recently we have decided to divvy up OUR chauffeuring duties, so he will be taking OUR kids to park days and dance classes and homeschool PE. Gasp! My first horror filled thought was "What will my mama friends think of his parenting?" Ack!!! So I start looking for rentals in another state...

Then it hits me. Most of them, my friends especially, will think- wow, what a great dad. He obviously loves playing with his children, he even does laundry, wipes their butts and usually tries to get them to eat protein. The others will all *ust be *ealous, won't they? When they find out he also rubs my back almost every night, and often gets up (off the couch he has fallen asleep watching Colbert on) in the middle of the night to take one of the littles from OUR bed so they don't wake the other when they become restless- I won't be able to pretend I am supermom anymore, they will all know that my sidekick is no mere "hero support" but a genuine, bonafide SUPER DAD!!

We are the yin to each other's yang, so what if he still occasionally gives OUR children a time out? At least he no longer gets upset at me when I rescue OUR child from the time out and spend some time connecting with him or her to uncover the truth beneath their angst (usually it was Sugar Daddy who really needed the time out, and I have learned to honor this truth myself when I recognize the short tone creeping into my conversations with the incessantly chatty 10 & 4 year olds- yes, I *ust admitted that he even makes me a better parent, don't tell him!)

It is OUR life, and he is not only a present, but a willing partner and I am so grateful for all that he does and how much he loves me and OUR amazing offspring. Of course, once you have borrowed the R to make "Parents", "Partners"- you are left with O U. As in I'll "owe you" big time if YOU deal with the poop on OUR living room, floor... I'm busy looking for a "J" (it's called copy and paste, but I wasn't about to do it EVERY time.)

I wanna be like Susan Sowerby

My dd7 and I just finished reading my all-time favorite childhood book, The Secret Garden, by Frances Burnett Hodges. I had forgotten how much the power of positive affirmation and belief in the "magic" of transformation is explored by Colin's "Scientific Experiment".

When it comes to positive thinking I have been much like Mistress Mary (quite contrary) through many stages in my life. I have believed in positivity and professed that belief (without actions to support it), I have wanted to believe in it- but couldn't seem to figure out exactly how to practice it, and I have sarcastically scorned it, feeling that the I was being blocked by unseen forces out of my control. I have come full circle to a place where I believe in being positive and I know that I must tend to my "secret garden"- a place in my heart where I can weather (and wonder at) the cycles of creation, destruction and rebirth.

Such a timeless novel (it was written nearly a century ago) - it is filled with sage wisdom and simple rituals. The children are left to themselves in the outdoors, they learn and play and grow strong. Their own natural curiousity guides them to marvel at the mysteries that unfold as a wintery, seemingly dead garden blossoms and shows them how to believe in unseen workings of a powerful universe. They sing and meditate, they giggle and conspire, they laugh and love. Dickon, the eldest child in the trio of main characters, is the son of Susan Sowerby and sibling of 11. His connection to all things in nature and his constant big grin are simple and sincere. He is the essence of childhood delight.

We decided to try our own Scientific Experiment, and it couldn't come at a better time. My eyes have been opened to the idea that I have been overcome with doubt, fear, negativity and bitterness. I have faulty relationships because I empower those types of thoughts in others and attract the people who also are also bogged down by these "weeds" in their "secret gardens".

Today in my "secret garden" I am weeding & pruning- and I am planting pumpkins. It seems I have been in the habit of putting off weeding until it is too late, and I have lost plants that could have been saved with just a little pruning. The pumpkins signify my belief in the coming harvest of brightly colored, nourishing and useful growing things! My positive affirmation for the day "I am a child of light, I believe in the power of the planet- the nurturing nature of a wonderful world."

My husband tells me that the highest paid athlete on the planet is Tiger Woods. He made most of his money from endorsing Nike. Nike coined the phrase "just do it". The true power of positivity shines when that idea is applied.

So how do you "just do it"?