Conscious Mothering Mini-Retreat

A few weeks ago I woke up ready to go get my "mama-ness" adjusted a bit.

The transition to 4 kids has been a roller coaster of emotions, physical demands, new territory with sibling development and musical beds galore!!

I spent at least an hour arguing with myself as to whether it would really feel refreshing and helpful with a nursing M-cube along (even tried that ol' thinking of others tactic- the mamas are retreating, "they don't want a baby around"). But she is a sweetie and I NEEDED it... so luckily I won the argument and I started getting ready.

It was one of those morning and I was running very late. It was further away than I realized. I didn't get to go on the nature walk. I was stressing a bit.

As I was unloading my precious cargo - rushing in the parking lot to hurry and interrupt as little as possible, I heard a soft welcoming voice. The mamas were just arriving from their nature walk... I wasn't late!!

And every second of the next 3 hours was precisely what I needed to find the inner mama guru who knows that this is the most wondrous and amazing time of my life.

The guided meditation that Sylvia led us through (while holding my sweet babe who was making her sleepy noises) opened my heart wide. I would walk you through it, but the tears would flow and I wouldn't be able to see my keyboard... but you should go experience it for yourself anyway.

After that we did a wonderful exercise called Listening. This has impacted my life in so many ways- with my husband, business, friendships, and even in helping me listen to my own inner voice. It was so simple, but somehow struck me like lightening.

Next up Sylvia worked with a specific challenge of one of the mamas- well, ok it was me!! As I laid bare the raw emotions of my most desperate self, I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders. Sylvia helped me realize my own power and perspective and peacefulness... the wisdom of the circle of mamas wrapped around and warmed me like the softest, lovely cardigan you can imagine.

A few weeks later I was window shopping on 2nd street with a dear friend and I came across this. It suddenly all came together. That is what I got back at the mini-retreat, the "hope" part of being a mama, and now I can breathe easier.

This Saturday is another one. I will be there. Do you need a little mama-freshing? You owe it to your inner baby, that perfect being of love and light. I am a better mama this month and I am getting better and better...

http://www.connectingwithin.com/conscious-mothering/conscious-mothering-mini-retreat-series/

The word I left with, written on a tealight, imprinted on my heart was Allow. I have allowed it to make such a difference in my life.

Parents as Partners- *ust add an R

For "Parents" to become "Partners"- *ust mix it up a bit and add an R, as in "our".

It is...

• OUR family
• OUR livelihood
• OUR shared common vision
• OUR future together
• OUR sex life
• OUR best friendship
• OUR home
• OUR meal times
• OUR need for personal space...

Since Sugar Daddy has been such an active part in the craziness that occurs round these parts on a daily basis, and I have become a larger part of the income producing half of our marital equation- we have become increasingly irritated with each other. He is *ust always around- picking up toys, getting snacks, helping with naptimes... I mean seriously dude! Over the past few months as the pregnancy hormones have kicked it- he has become so hard to deal with...

The *erk is constantly causing issues, (notice this post contains none of that letter that sits between the H & the K on the keyboard- his fault.) and getting in the way of my perfect, peaceful parenting. It seems he has his own ideas about how to live with the little buggers. We differ enough on how to handle the constant barrage of needs from the 10 & under crowd (and they are in the ma*ority) that I have begun to wonder if he's been reading too much Sun Tzu, while he is absolutely certain that I read too much Naomi Aldort.

Recently we have decided to divvy up OUR chauffeuring duties, so he will be taking OUR kids to park days and dance classes and homeschool PE. Gasp! My first horror filled thought was "What will my mama friends think of his parenting?" Ack!!! So I start looking for rentals in another state...

Then it hits me. Most of them, my friends especially, will think- wow, what a great dad. He obviously loves playing with his children, he even does laundry, wipes their butts and usually tries to get them to eat protein. The others will all *ust be *ealous, won't they? When they find out he also rubs my back almost every night, and often gets up (off the couch he has fallen asleep watching Colbert on) in the middle of the night to take one of the littles from OUR bed so they don't wake the other when they become restless- I won't be able to pretend I am supermom anymore, they will all know that my sidekick is no mere "hero support" but a genuine, bonafide SUPER DAD!!

We are the yin to each other's yang, so what if he still occasionally gives OUR children a time out? At least he no longer gets upset at me when I rescue OUR child from the time out and spend some time connecting with him or her to uncover the truth beneath their angst (usually it was Sugar Daddy who really needed the time out, and I have learned to honor this truth myself when I recognize the short tone creeping into my conversations with the incessantly chatty 10 & 4 year olds- yes, I *ust admitted that he even makes me a better parent, don't tell him!)

It is OUR life, and he is not only a present, but a willing partner and I am so grateful for all that he does and how much he loves me and OUR amazing offspring. Of course, once you have borrowed the R to make "Parents", "Partners"- you are left with O U. As in I'll "owe you" big time if YOU deal with the poop on OUR living room, floor... I'm busy looking for a "J" (it's called copy and paste, but I wasn't about to do it EVERY time.)

Drishti. At mama yoga I often focus on this...

Drishti. At mama yoga I often focus on this one particular leaf out the window of Laura Jane's sacred space. It is there week after week, on a vine growing out from her neighbors hedge or, is it any ivy covered wall- funny how the surrounding details are elusive. The leaf itself - it draws my attention weekly. It's barely perceptible movement in the breeze, it's color distinction, it's shape and shiny surface. When I gaze at this leaf it helps me balance, or endure, or align, or breath, or center my thoughts. It's not that everything around me goes away, I see the curtain wafting in the breeze to my left, and feel my toddler leaning against my leg and hear the baby banging train parts on the hardwood floors, I sense the other mams and their energy surrounds me in support. My eyes invariably soften, my jaw relaxes, I feel my neck lengthen and my body stops fighting gravity (no I don't fall down!)- my muscles stop quivering in exertion and I become still, fully present in that moment. My current path of personal & professional growth (beyond being barefootOCmama- oh yes, there is more to life than blogging) is challenging, I have to reach out of my comfort zone, practice perseverance, steadily move forward and confidently act out the vision I have for my life. I have big ideas. Huge. What has happened so often in my past is that I diverge when I connect with someone and see their vision, too. More big ideas- and I think I need to change what I want to be when I grow up. Now I have a focus, a drishti, my leaf in life- Bellah Bellah Ballyhoo. Ballyhoo allows me to balance, endure, align, breath and center - marriage, kids, housework, homeschool, friendships, family, volunteering, networking, planning, living- fully present in each moment. And now it is ok to allow myself to "get distracted" by others' visions for their life, it is more than ok, it is my job to be able get caught up in the excitement of doing what they do! bal·ly·hoo  noun [bal-ee-hoo] 1. a clamorous and vigorous attempt to win customers or advance any cause 2. blatant advertising or publicity. The Google+ project makes sharing on the web more like sharing in real-life. Learn more. Join Google+

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Wipers work for both!

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. Today I was splattered out all over the clear glass, still clinging for life as the winds whipped past. Life with small children is very nerve wracking for those of you who are beyond the blessed cycle of foggy brained forgetfulness that comes with bearing children.

"Human Jungle Gym" was my alter ego today while I tried to attend to the needs of my body and mind with some gentle style yoga ala the peaceful Laura Jane, who teaches far more than yoga to the mamas who want to practice radiantly living. Finally as C-dough whimpered and pulled at my shirt, I gave up and attended to the needs of my littles instead and took my yoga to go.

While trying to accept some sage and sassy advice having to do with a dark lord and the end of the world (not really, but if you insist I will tell you- it was... are you ready?

"don't compare your insides to their outsides..."

...so anyway the wiggly worms decided my clothing (and Laura Jane's dining area) needed some post modern hummus splatter and a collection of carrots in the corner...

Upon arriving back at the castle of chaos, ahem calmness (I am learning to reframe my reality) my attention was undivided-ly given to Sugar Daddy who regaled me with tales of high adventures and dubious doctors. By the time C-dough awoke I was daydreaming about Calgon (or some cowboy) taking me away!!

So I whipped out my yoga mat, and I breathed in and I aligned and I posed and I breathed out and I planted and I balanced and paused at the top of the breath to feel the arch in my cat and at the bottom of it to let out my cow. Then I wondered if I had my breathing backwards- but I noticed that I (and my body) remembered more than last time I tried to do the practices at home. I was given a great image to work with- the windshield wipers wiping my mind.

So I will start tomorrow with a clean windshield, so at least if I am the bug I'll be able to see the happy family in the minivan clearly.

Day 10 of the no 'poo experiment- not liking the feeling of my hair, it isn't so much an itchiness or dirty feeling, just a general fuzziness. Thinking of trying an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse or perhaps doing more of the conditioner thing... (I have been using a little on the ends for smell and control) - BUT dreads are being seriously considered... and lots of cool hair wraps... and beads... and feathers! I'd look like a cool "Captain-ess Jack" - oops almost put the "ess" on the other word =)

Meditating Parent Project Update
For 4 out of 5 days I meditated specifically on listening to my inner voice for parenting, and voices around me have often brought out things I needed to consider. I had a productive discussion with Sugar Daddy on a specific difference of parental opinion- and I am eager to read, discuss and further enlighten myself as we both examine our conscious thought process. Wow that's wordy, huh?

What transformations are happening in your life, I would love to know that I am not alone in facing my imperfections and improving my fates!

Your topic is Paleo Diet- GO!

Have you heard of it? Is is just a trend?

It's like the Zone Diet for Vegans who really miss meat. Like me. No grains, legumes, dairy (except butter) and no sugar- "basically if you can hunt it down or knock it off a tree or bush", said the startlingly beautiful, trim, but buxom, blond who I want to look just like. Ok tell me how you eat, lady!!

Not that my primary concern is image related, I am really more interested in being healthy and enjoying eating. I lost 45 pounds by eating Vegan, mostly raw foods, and NO FAT. I felt fine, I found things I super enjoyed (my salad making skills are to be envied- go ahead envy them!) But I did feel deprived... and often unprepared to eat the foods I felt I should be eating. 

So today at a homeschool park day I chatted with some perfectly pleasant and down to earth women (literally since we sat on the grass!) and my spirit was refreshed. These very real, genuine, lovely and down to earth mamas were sharing with me about the Paleo Diet, among other things involving the care and feeding of ourselves and our offspring, and my interest is piqued... but at the same time tonight for dinner I had no idea what to feed my kids. So they ended up with green beans and Chef Boyardee lasagna because I spent a little too much time researching this Caveman Diet.

Google it. You know you want to. And since I have to turn my attention to the three delightful children squealing deliriously as daddy does the dishes, will you please let me know what you find?

Happy Monday!

Authenticity.

"...whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things." Philippians 4:8

The power of positive thinking... "the Secret"... the Pollyana principle... new age philosophy... call it whatever you will, it means that humans NEED to see something beyond the (largely physical) first world problems that occupy our conscious minds.

When I was a Bible banger, Philippians was my favorite book of the new testament. Short, to the point, personal and REAL- Peter's letter even addressed an agelessly common problem, by calling out Euodia & Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord.

Women.

Why can't we all just get along? (Did you know that is not the actual Rodney King quote- just a Mean Girls interpretation?) What is it that causes us to personally battle each other on things that are not true, worthy of respect, just, pure, lovely.... blah, blah, blah- YKWIM, right? 


The funny part is we all feel that way.

We don't want to disagree, we don't really think that our point of view is untrue, unworthy of respect, unjust, impure, unlovely- but we just can't see past our own shame, fear or pride to connect with the other woman's sense of self. Our own sense of self inflates our image, incites our ego and evokes impressive excuses as to why our POV is more rational, more excellent or more praiseworthy.

Today I visited a Christian based religious organization... yesterday I was entranced by a pagan homeschooling mama blog- can I even reconcile my own life with my belief system? Do I make any sense at all, if taken in my entirety or am I just a paradox of peculiar interests and interesting peculiarities? 

Well, whatever... is true.

What's on my mind...

So I have recently discovered baby cucumbers, slice them, sprinkle them with pepper and dip in soy/ wasabi sauce... so very delicious. Eating healthy sometimes means staying simple- today's lunch:, sliced snacking cucumbers, carrot sticks, apple wedges, a spoonful of peanut butter- AND a handful of Popchips, YUM!

Also, did you know- short hair is perfect for little girls in the summer- I am currently pondering if it good for mama, too? Speaking of mamas- the coolest site I wish I had more time for is www.swapmamas.com, so much stuff, so little time to photograph it... but so much waiting to be swapped for!

My recent yoga practice has expanded to include mudras- such a simple and effective way of coping with my first world problems. Also called hand postures, these surprisingly effective "exercises" are amazing, and if you would like to learn more about how you too can benefit from having your hands connect you to more than just the things they touch, you know what to do on the string of letters & numbers that follow this run on sentence http://thehealthylivinglounge.com/2007/11/06/hand-yoga-for-stressed-out-frantic-moms/.

Today I did one of my favorites mudras while watching the girls play at a local splash pad- Sigler Park.

Another sure fire cure for the doldrums of child rearing, take one of them out- just one (in our case the oldest) to a good movie- or a decent movie, anyway. Discount theaters are great- for less than the price of one ticket at a regular cinema, we all got to visit our beloved friend, Jack Sparrow. We (along with a packed theater of other budget minded Pirate lovers) were well entertained by vampire mermaids, softhearted scallywags and men of action clashing with passionate people of faith and fascinating figures of patrimony. For the fourth in a franchise this sequel didn't disappoint- but merely met muster. http://disney.go.com/pirates/

PS Need a little boost in the bedroom? I recently read that moms who read romance novels feel sexier and have more satisfying sex... http://sex.bitchbuzz.com/why-reading-romance-novels-can-improve-your-sex.html this made me think of this fabulous concept http://www.passionspath.com/, it is such a fun idea!

Now off to explore Google+ my high school buddy hooked me up and I am feeling like I won the lottery, well at least like I won another ticket with a $3 scratcher! Happy Saturday.